What seems to have happened however is the 'front back' visibility setting I switched off in my pull was the wrong one. Because my generic pull family was laying on a flat host, I had to switch off 'Plan/RCP" because this is the angle you see the pull from when viewing my cabinet from "Front/Back."
So far that seems to have fixed my visibility problem. I thought it was going to turn into one of those things where I couldn't have a nested pull family and get it to work right, but so far so good!
Looks like loading the pull into the project won't update it within my cab families. I have to load it into each cab family and then reload each cab family into the project.